Since the legalisation of same sex relationships between men in the late 1960’s there has been a steady increase in the social acceptance of alternative consensual gay relationships. This has not been the case for LGB people from the Islamic community, whether they be practising Muslims or not.
The phenomenon of ‘Beard marriage‘ was common in previous eras in Western society as a way for gay men and lesbians to deflect social criticism that may have arisen from an observance of their non-married status. Beard Marriage was where a gay man or a lesbian entered into a matrimonial arrangement with a person of the opposite sex in order to conceal their sexual identity. There is or should be no need for Beard Marriages in modern, free societies, but for those who come from more backward cultures, Beard Marriages are still, sadly far too common.
Read this desperate request by an ex-Muslim lesbian on an ex-Muslim debate site for anyone who knows anyone who can act as her beard. It is highly enlightening as to the pressures that Muslims or ex-Muslims who are LBG face.
“This is from last year. I’m a year older now and in a relationship with an amazing girl and I have been with her for a few years. Unfortunately my parents are strict Muslims (and getting stricter) and they obviously would either die or kill me if they found out. Aside from that, I have a younger teenage sister that they would punish if they found out about me. I don’t want them to ruin her life either. I want to be with my girlfriend but I just wish I could find some gay arab guy who is in the same situation as me and we could just be each other’s beards. Anyone know if this is possible? I know this sounds crazy but I just don’t have anyone to talk to. Here is the post from last year…I don’t know how to actually re-post it but I’ll just quote what I wrote
“As the title states I’m an “aging” female. I’m an ex muslim and I’m gay. My parents are starting to push marriage on me and that’s just not going to work out. Is there like a website with gay ex muslim guys on it or something that are maybe interested in just getting married so our parents don’t make us do something crazy? I seriously don’t know what else to do and I can’t tell my parents any of this obviously. Does anyone have any advice or anything? It is just so stressful for me and I’m not a bad person but it is just so hard to have to deal with this 🙁 “
Thanks again guys, any help would be greatly appreciated. I’m just so down right now. “
How can this poor woman be anything but feeling down? She faces a threat of death should she not enter into a marriage of convenience. Would you want to live with fears like that? I know that I would not.