There’s some bizarre stories out there but this one about a National Health Service hospital really does take the biscuit.

According to press reports there has been a spate of incidents at Royal Manchester Children’s Hospital of human faeces being left in staff lockers and hidden behind ceiling tiles. The epidemic of turds being left in inappropriate places has apparently been going on for a year but the kicker with this story is that that hospital management were initially reluctant for staff to inform the police.

The Manchester Evening News said:

Royal Manchester Children’s Hospital staff have been left horrified after ‘human excrement’ has been found ‘smeared’ across male staff toilets and changing rooms, ‘hidden in staff lockers’ and even ‘hidden in the ceilings’, sources claim.

‘Human faeces’ have been repeatedly found strewn across and hidden around the male staff changing rooms and toilets for the hospital’s operating theatre department, according to multiple internal incident reports filed by staff. The Manchester Evening News has seen several internal incident reports lodged on separate occasions over the last 12 months, ranging from February 2023 to as recent as this beginning of this month.

One incident report claimed: “I came into work this morning and went to get changed in the male changing room. I noticed a horrible poo smell coming from the locker next to mine, I looked and found a fresh poo in the top locker underneath a scrub top. I went and got some gloves and removed the filth and cleaned the locker.”

Pardon the pun but smearing poo everywhere and hiding it behind ceiling tiles or smearing it all over a toilet cubical according to another part of the report is really shitty behaviour. It would be bad enough if this sort of stuff happened on a farm or in a factory but for it to be going on for a year in a hospital is pretty bad.

The Manchester Evening News added:

One source told the M.E.N. how they feared the excrement was ‘being brought into the changing rooms in sample pots and jars’, saying: “It’s been put in the towels in the men’s changing rooms in the children’s theatre department.

“Our surgeons and anaesthetists have to take showers before they go into theatre, and someone found that excrement had been put in the towels.”

“The faeces had been put in the ceiling and it fell on the matron,” claimed a source.

“It’s been going on for a while now and no one seems to be doing anything about it. Staff have been told not to go to the police by management.

If even some of these claims about crap in the ceilings are true then it’s clear that this hospital has a problem with one of more of its staff who cannot be trusted to know that the poo goes down the toilet not into a colleagues locker or into the ceiling. Even a moron knows that it is wrong to fling shit around in an area that should be if not sterile but at least clean and may well show that this hospital might be employing either sub moron people or those who are extremely mentally disturbed.

I’m also pretty disgusted by the alleged arse covering by the hospital. The management have failed to find the phantom turd chucker but forbade the staff to go to the police which should in reality have been the correct thing to do if the management could not sort this problem out. Why did the hospital forbid police involvement? What are the management trying to hide here? Do the management know who is doing this and it is politically embarrassing for them to do so or is it just that, as with some other organisations, protecting the reputation of the hospital and its management took precedence over patient and employee safety and finding the faeces flinging fraggle?

The NHS is indeed in a terrible state. It’s provides crap services, often employs crap staff with crap attitudes and its care has crap outcomes compared to many other advanced nations. Now, in Manchester at least, it also has crap smeared all over its buildings.