There’s been a lot of ‘noticing’ going on in Britain recently. In particular people are starting to notice that whenever a Briton is murdered by and Islamic terrorist or some migrant or similar the statements of the departed person’s loved ones look spookily similar. There’s often similar comments about ‘not dividing people’ or calls for ‘peace’ or exhortations to love ‘diversity’ from different families of different Britons who’ve been killed. These statements are so uncannily alike that it is making some wonder whether or not the family and friends of those who’ve been murdered by an Islamic terrorist or killed during an outbreak of ‘vibrant diversity’ are being leaned on by government agencies to say approved lines rather than what the family members might want to say about their loved one and how they died.

Therefore I’ve decided to get ahead of the game and add a codicil to my Will just in case I’m killed in a terrorist attack or similar. I really don’t want some government agency writing my eulogy or expressing views about me that I don’t share or having the sort of politicians that I would not piss on if they were on fire turning up to any memorial.

Here it is:

‘In the event of my demise at the hands of a sweaty Islamic terrorist with his equally sweaty and kinetic backpack or if I am shot, stabbed or bludgeoned to death by a member of the ‘vibrant diversity’ that successive UK governments have imported and who we’ve all paid for, then there is a list of things that I don’t want said or done by anyone I know after my death.

I don’t want any ‘don’t look back in anger’ shite nor do I want appeals for peace or mealy-mouthed words about ‘community cohesion’ or praise for ‘diversity’ being said; nor my death being used as an excuse for unwashed hippies to sing their really shit versions of John Lennon’s ‘Imagine’. I also don’t want anyone from this appalling government to write the words for my loved ones to say, which is something that I believe may be happening more than we imagine.

In the event of my death at the hands of those who should never have been brought to the West in the first place, I don’t want a violent freak out on my behalf, violence has never been my way. However I do want honesty and I would like peaceful protest and public indignation. If I’m killed in a terrorist attack or by a member of the vibrant and violent diversity that we’ve imported, then I want that fact publicised in an honest and factual manner and I certainly do not want any Labour or Lib Dem politician to attend any funeral or memorial service. I’d also quite like my coffin to be carried to the graveside by six guys or gals dressed in Crusader outfits but with the crosses on their outfits replaced by Stars of David. Oh and if I’m cremated I’d quite like ‘Fire’ by The Crazy World of Arthur Brown played at the end of the service. “